Outside

rooms boarded up, sealed

off to the world

a computer screen, a tablet, a

cell phone is the window

to the world

meals taken from the

microwave directly to

the boarded-up room to

be quickly scarfed up

doors locked at 3 o’clock

in the afternoon

to keep the outside

outside

years of closed-off living

develops nervous quirks,

twitches that remain hidden –

a wringing of the hands,

facing an object left or right,

right shoe goes on first,

one sock then one shoe and

never both socks then both shoes

.

the outside remains outside

the outside remains outside

the outside remains outside

.

inside is comfort

inside is protection

inside is not outside

.

do not let the outside in

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Life

out here it sure looks different now

people, all kinds of people

walking, looking, touching things

some smiling and some not

some have a limp and some don’t

some push their shopping carts easily

others are leaning, relying on theirs

.

where did we all come from

at one time we were all back at home

safe in the womb of childhood

what terrible fortune befell us

it’s not just aging, getting older

it’s life and the way it sucks at

us, takes from us, gives us ulcers

.

life can be wonderful

or it can be a cruel bastard

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If There Ever Should Come a Time

if there ever should come a time

(and there will)

when I am no longer there

speak honestly of me but do

so with a laugh and a joke

.

you know I always loved to laugh

.

if there ever should come a time

(and sooner still)

when I am no longer there

play these songs often and

as loudly as it will go

.

you know I always loved music

.

if there should come a time

(perhaps it comes quickly)

when I am no longer there

shore up your memories and

lock them safely away

.

you know I always loved you

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In A Parallel Universe

in a parallel universe

there was no accident

you are still alive

and bound for old age

.

in a parallel universe

you are still there with us

lives lived together

a whole family

.

in a parallel universe

that cursed granite stone

remains un-mined

forever un-etched

.

in a parallel universe

I wasn’t forced to curse

a god or a trinity

for taking you from me

.

in a parallel universe

you found your happiness

the fates smiled on you

and you gloriously remain

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Routine

life is all about routine…

I suppose

.

wake up

hit the head

walk the dog

feed the dog

wash the day’s dishes

shortly before bed

walk the dog

hit the head

go to bed

.

I wonder if my routine

is like anyone else’s

does someone else

live a life like mine

or am I just a boring hump

.

I have to walk the dog soon

the routine starts again tomorrow

——————————————————–—————

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My Eyes Have Opened

those nights when you thought

you might lose me, when

you were sure that tomorrow’s

call wouldn’t come, when

you were certain that we had

been together for the final time, when

you knew that an end was

drawing far too near

.

I felt it too and was just

as sure as you were, when

I was crawling my way to bed

only when it became necessity, when

I was lying awake for hours

planning my own interment, when

I felt sure that my eyes were closing

for the final time

.

let’s not be so sure again

my eyes have opened

often since then

——————————————————–—————

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What Is True?

what is true?

I ask myself that question

as if I could ever answer it

me –

just a man

a small man

limited mind

short memory

just me –

a man

that’s all

.

yet I ask again

.

I don’t know the

answer

likely never will

there are half truths

and

.

lies

but what is true

and what has ever been

true

.

oh, quote facts

that we can do

if we know them

but true

real true-ness

if there is such a thing

.

I’m not capable of that

——————————————————–—————

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An Effect

eternity and

creation

will shudder

beginning with

a ripple of wind

growing ever larger

time and

space

will rattle

lay your words

on the wings

of the butterfly

to take effect

on a vast future

place a claim

on a piece

of all dimensions

today’s utterance

can silence

even the gods

place your voice

against the air

to shake the heavens

to fall among the stars

to travel the galaxies

choose to make your voice

timeless, eternal

——————————————————–—————

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Cigarettes

I’m down to my last pack

so out I go across the road

to the convenience store

the one with the 99-cent

Pepsi’s and the overly-

priced gasoline

.

I’m not dressed for public

certainly not like I had

considered who I might see

so I’m wearing old jeans

a floppy, comfy t-shirt

and my black yard shoes

who am I going to impress

.

there’s always that one lady

at the register ahead of me

buying a number 3

2 number 4’s and of

course 3 number 7’s

she expects there to

be money buried there

under those scratch-offs

.

I wait impatiently

behind this lady gambler

ask for my preferred carton

only to be interrupted

by the loud-talking

guy coming in the door

who has to continue

his conversation

from a distance with

his friend who is still

outside at the pump

.

now, finally, I can pay

and go back across the road

in my dirty yard shoes

I didn’t impress anyone

just like I thought

I’m reminded why being

out in public really isn’t

my favorite thing

——————————————————–—————

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Laughing About It

there are times

that going to see the saw bones

can be quite the experience

“so, doc, how were the test results”

“oh, not so terrible but at this rate

you’ll be dead in a couple of years”

how do you react to that news

what kinds of things go through your mind

it’s amazing the way news like that

changes your day

changes your mind

changes your outlook

changes everything

.

that’s a lot of nights

a whole lot of days

many miles walked

contemplating the end

.

the images it brings to mind

are sure as hell nothing to take lightly

but it’s what I do

we all have to die

I’ll die like every other human ever

and I’ve already been told

I should take it more seriously

as if no one understands

if I can’t take this seriously

then I can’t take anything seriously

of course I am

but I’m not going to spend

every waking moment looking glum

and I’m going to deal with it how I deal with it

if I laugh about it

well, I guess I laugh about it

and if I remake my bed

so I can die in it comfortably

well, then I guess I remake my bed

this is my life

and it will be my death

whenever it comes

and I just might laugh about it

——————————————————–—————

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